Kiss

Hi sweeties, how are you doing?

I´m ok I guess.
I fasted for 4 days and broke the fast last night with a binge, I´m so smart it scares me....
Today I ate waaay too much. 2 cheese sandwiches, a yogurt and some cereals.
I have to go to the gym if I don´t want to gain but I don´t feel like going, I want to stay home laying on my bed watching TV. I´m so lazy

I´m so tired of my weight, I want to get in the 50´s and then finally into the 40´s!
When I started the fast I weighted 67,5 kg and today I weight 62,2 kg so that´s something even if it was mostly water weight

I stayed in T´s house on Sunday and we had a lot of fun.
That´s until we watched a movie with a lot of naked girls, not porn, just a movie called Whore and well, we haven´t had sex in like 3 months so we where pretty horny haha. She kissed me and I started crying...I miss her so much, you have no idea =(
I´m very temted to get back together with her but I know she isn´t right for me so I have to fight and to not follow my impulses.


I´ll leave you some pics =)










God, I miss my bones


xx





EDIT: I went to the gym but I´ve just binged. I hate myself so much.........

New diet pills yaay

I´ve gained 2 kg but I don´t want that letting me down now.

I just got new diet pills, today it´s my first day taking them and I haven´t been hungry all day. I think this pill may stop my binges(oh please please)
I took them sometime ago and they didn´t work but I switched brands so I´m really hopefull =)

Next week I go back to the gym! I´ll work my butt off, I swear!

My mom comes back on Saturday...I miss her but I absolutly love having the house to myself!
I had 2 amazing days with a friend of mine, we were high all day long and danced and talked, it was so much fun!

How are you doing girls???













xx

Failing, like always

I haven´t posted because I was really ashamed. The day I said I was starting the ABC diet I binged big time and yesterday too and the day before too...
I gained, lost and gained so I´m at the same weight as last week, wich is really depressing...


I´m buying a new diet pill cause I´m sick of yo-yoing and the binges. I need to lose weight, it´s driving me crazy!
I´m out of weed so I need to buy that too...


How are you guys doing? Is the new year treating you ok?











EDIT: I binged again, what the hell is wrong with me?????
xx

Starting ABC today

I lost weight and then gained it back, this stops now. With a lot of shame I confess that I weight 65.5 kg...I´m a beach whale.

I have the house alone for 2 weeks and I plan on exercising and following the ABC diet. I started it today....so far 379 cal, and I think I won´t eat anything else. I´m really triggeres and I want to binge but I won´t allow that to happen.
This time I WILL LOSE THIS WEIGHT!(I know how many times I´ve said the same thing but today I´m feeling positive about losing the dawn weight).
If anyone wants to join me in the ABC Diet, please tell me =)

I´m drinking diuretic tea because I don´t know when my mom hid the real diuretics and I´m so bloaded it´s scary :S

This past few day I ´ve been binging but this won´t happen today, I already took my sleeping pills so I don´t do it.



Did you have a good new year? On new year´s eve I went to my uncle´s and then I went to hang out with some friends, I gor really bored in both places xD



Sorry my last post was so depressing! And thank you for cheering me up with your comments =)














I´ll post my Intake and weight every day, so I have more motivation to don´t binge.

Intake:
Snack(afternoon)- aplle(150 cal), jello (72 cal), cereals(70 cal)
Dinner: Carrot(57 cal), chesse(30 cal)
Total: 379 cal

Weight: 65,5 kg(grooooose)



xxxx

+ 5 kg

I want to do that so bad



I´ve gained 5 kg, that´s like more than 10 lbs!!!!!!!!!!!! In 5 days!!!
I can´t believe how fat I am, I really can´t....I should be killed for weighting this much and for gaining this much!


I can´t go out of my house like this, I really can´t. I´ll probably spend New year´s eve at home, alone....
I´m such a failure, I´m worthless...I want to cut so bad...


I hope you are all better than me, thanks for the comments and for the new followers =)

Fat, fat, fat

Hi lovelies! I hope you all had a great Chrismas!!

Honestly mine sucked. I binged on Chrismas Eve and been binging since then but it stops now(please please let it stop)!
I´m terrified of weighting myself, I know I´ve gained tons of weight =( reyhjtytjyiy
I´m so fat I don´t even want to go out or see anyone, I´m so ashamed...

My plans for this week are eating 300 cals or less and going to the gym for at least 2 hours everyday. But well, we know my plans don´t usualy work xD



I´ll tell you the truth, next month my mother and brother are leaving for a scout´s camp for 2 weeks and I was planning killing myself while they were away...I was dreaming about it all month but I can´t do that to them....and I hate them for that.
So now that I have to stay alive I don´t know what to do...
No, I don´t have to stay alive, I can for once in my life put myself first and finish everything and that´s what I´ll do. For once I´ll be selfish, for once I´ll do what´s best for me and not for others.

I´m really ashamed of this but I find myself being really jelaous of my friend who was in a coma because of all the weight she lost and because she hasn´t eaten in 2 weeks, how sick is that? I´m really worried about her but I can´t help her, I´ve really tried but she doesn´t want to get better...



Ok, I´ll stop rambling and thank you for all the comments =)













xx

Merry Chrismas lovelies!

I really don´t want to go to my auncle´s dinner but I have to....besides I´m bringin cupcakes...
My mom isn´t going ´cause there´ll be too much alcohol and she´s trying to quit drinking(not working well at all)


But I better cheer up, after all my dinner will be a green salad(I´m the only vegetarian there), I´ll have a few drinks and try to avoid all dessesrts xD
Plus I´ll have fun with my cousins!


I hope you all have a really merry chrismas and enjoy yourselfs!!
xx