martes, 18 de enero de 2011


Hi sweeties, how are you doing?

I´m ok I guess.
I fasted for 4 days and broke the fast last night with a binge, I´m so smart it scares me....
Today I ate waaay too much. 2 cheese sandwiches, a yogurt and some cereals.
I have to go to the gym if I don´t want to gain but I don´t feel like going, I want to stay home laying on my bed watching TV. I´m so lazy

I´m so tired of my weight, I want to get in the 50´s and then finally into the 40´s!
When I started the fast I weighted 67,5 kg and today I weight 62,2 kg so that´s something even if it was mostly water weight

I stayed in T´s house on Sunday and we had a lot of fun.
That´s until we watched a movie with a lot of naked girls, not porn, just a movie called Whore and well, we haven´t had sex in like 3 months so we where pretty horny haha. She kissed me and I started crying...I miss her so much, you have no idea =(
I´m very temted to get back together with her but I know she isn´t right for me so I have to fight and to not follow my impulses.

I´ll leave you some pics =)

God, I miss my bones


EDIT: I went to the gym but I´ve just binged. I hate myself so much.........

jueves, 13 de enero de 2011

New diet pills yaay

I´ve gained 2 kg but I don´t want that letting me down now.

I just got new diet pills, today it´s my first day taking them and I haven´t been hungry all day. I think this pill may stop my binges(oh please please)
I took them sometime ago and they didn´t work but I switched brands so I´m really hopefull =)

Next week I go back to the gym! I´ll work my butt off, I swear!

My mom comes back on Saturday...I miss her but I absolutly love having the house to myself!
I had 2 amazing days with a friend of mine, we were high all day long and danced and talked, it was so much fun!

How are you doing girls???


lunes, 10 de enero de 2011

Failing, like always

I haven´t posted because I was really ashamed. The day I said I was starting the ABC diet I binged big time and yesterday too and the day before too...
I gained, lost and gained so I´m at the same weight as last week, wich is really depressing...

I´m buying a new diet pill cause I´m sick of yo-yoing and the binges. I need to lose weight, it´s driving me crazy!
I´m out of weed so I need to buy that too...

How are you guys doing? Is the new year treating you ok?

EDIT: I binged again, what the hell is wrong with me?????

lunes, 3 de enero de 2011

Starting ABC today

I lost weight and then gained it back, this stops now. With a lot of shame I confess that I weight 65.5 kg...I´m a beach whale.

I have the house alone for 2 weeks and I plan on exercising and following the ABC diet. I started it far 379 cal, and I think I won´t eat anything else. I´m really triggeres and I want to binge but I won´t allow that to happen.
This time I WILL LOSE THIS WEIGHT!(I know how many times I´ve said the same thing but today I´m feeling positive about losing the dawn weight).
If anyone wants to join me in the ABC Diet, please tell me =)

I´m drinking diuretic tea because I don´t know when my mom hid the real diuretics and I´m so bloaded it´s scary :S

This past few day I ´ve been binging but this won´t happen today, I already took my sleeping pills so I don´t do it.

Did you have a good new year? On new year´s eve I went to my uncle´s and then I went to hang out with some friends, I gor really bored in both places xD

Sorry my last post was so depressing! And thank you for cheering me up with your comments =)

I´ll post my Intake and weight every day, so I have more motivation to don´t binge.

Snack(afternoon)- aplle(150 cal), jello (72 cal), cereals(70 cal)
Dinner: Carrot(57 cal), chesse(30 cal)
Total: 379 cal

Weight: 65,5 kg(grooooose)


miércoles, 29 de diciembre de 2010

+ 5 kg

I want to do that so bad

I´ve gained 5 kg, that´s like more than 10 lbs!!!!!!!!!!!! In 5 days!!!
I can´t believe how fat I am, I really can´t....I should be killed for weighting this much and for gaining this much!

I can´t go out of my house like this, I really can´t. I´ll probably spend New year´s eve at home, alone....
I´m such a failure, I´m worthless...I want to cut so bad...

I hope you are all better than me, thanks for the comments and for the new followers =)

lunes, 27 de diciembre de 2010

Fat, fat, fat

Hi lovelies! I hope you all had a great Chrismas!!

Honestly mine sucked. I binged on Chrismas Eve and been binging since then but it stops now(please please let it stop)!
I´m terrified of weighting myself, I know I´ve gained tons of weight =( reyhjtytjyiy
I´m so fat I don´t even want to go out or see anyone, I´m so ashamed...

My plans for this week are eating 300 cals or less and going to the gym for at least 2 hours everyday. But well, we know my plans don´t usualy work xD

I´ll tell you the truth, next month my mother and brother are leaving for a scout´s camp for 2 weeks and I was planning killing myself while they were away...I was dreaming about it all month but I can´t do that to them....and I hate them for that.
So now that I have to stay alive I don´t know what to do...
No, I don´t have to stay alive, I can for once in my life put myself first and finish everything and that´s what I´ll do. For once I´ll be selfish, for once I´ll do what´s best for me and not for others.

I´m really ashamed of this but I find myself being really jelaous of my friend who was in a coma because of all the weight she lost and because she hasn´t eaten in 2 weeks, how sick is that? I´m really worried about her but I can´t help her, I´ve really tried but she doesn´t want to get better...

Ok, I´ll stop rambling and thank you for all the comments =)


viernes, 24 de diciembre de 2010

Merry Chrismas lovelies!

I really don´t want to go to my auncle´s dinner but I have to....besides I´m bringin cupcakes...
My mom isn´t going ´cause there´ll be too much alcohol and she´s trying to quit drinking(not working well at all)

But I better cheer up, after all my dinner will be a green salad(I´m the only vegetarian there), I´ll have a few drinks and try to avoid all dessesrts xD
Plus I´ll have fun with my cousins!

I hope you all have a really merry chrismas and enjoy yourselfs!!