lunes, 27 de diciembre de 2010
Fat, fat, fat
Hi lovelies! I hope you all had a great Chrismas!!
Honestly mine sucked. I binged on Chrismas Eve and been binging since then but it stops now(please please let it stop)!
I´m terrified of weighting myself, I know I´ve gained tons of weight =( reyhjtytjyiy
I´m so fat I don´t even want to go out or see anyone, I´m so ashamed...
My plans for this week are eating 300 cals or less and going to the gym for at least 2 hours everyday. But well, we know my plans don´t usualy work xD
I´ll tell you the truth, next month my mother and brother are leaving for a scout´s camp for 2 weeks and I was planning killing myself while they were away...I was dreaming about it all month but I can´t do that to them....and I hate them for that.
So now that I have to stay alive I don´t know what to do...
No, I don´t have to stay alive, I can for once in my life put myself first and finish everything and that´s what I´ll do. For once I´ll be selfish, for once I´ll do what´s best for me and not for others.
I´m really ashamed of this but I find myself being really jelaous of my friend who was in a coma because of all the weight she lost and because she hasn´t eaten in 2 weeks, how sick is that? I´m really worried about her but I can´t help her, I´ve really tried but she doesn´t want to get better...
Ok, I´ll stop rambling and thank you for all the comments =)