I´m a freakin monster...I haven´t posted because all I´ve been doing since Friday night is binging like the bitch that I am and taking too many sleeping pills.
62 kg today(I was 59,5 on Friday), weighting myself should have stopped me from eating like the cookie monster but it didn´t.....
I hope I had something positive to say...but the complete and honest truth is that all I want is to die...I want it so bad it hurts, I don´t know what to do to stop feeling this way...ideas?
As I can´t kill myself because of people, all I want is to stay home sleeping forever or until I drop 20 kg...
This past 6 years have been all the same, lose weight, gain weight, cut and wanting to die....will it ever stop? I´ve been to A LOT of therapysts but they can´t change how I feel and neither can I...so what´s left? A life of surviving, of wanting to die and having to live.
Ok, STOP! Tomorrow is a new day and it might be better, I´ll bust my butt at the gym(I didn´t go today), go to therapy, wait for my "diet pills" and go buy another diet pills. This week I´ll do one of my favourite diet, the Apple diet, I don´t follow like it´s meant to, I just eat apples, 3 or 4 a day if I´m too hungry.
Sorry I haven´t commented on your beautiful blogs but I´ve been too down to do anything.
Tomorrow Í´ll catch up on the comments.
Hope you´re doing great like you deserve!
xx
This is exactly how I want to look in that position...so I better shut my mouth...!
Ah lovely.
ResponderEliminarDays like these are fucked. There's nothing anyone can really say to help. You gotta make things better for yourself. Try and find some beauty in something. Put on a playlist that makes you smile. Read: http://www.damnyouautocorrect.com/ ... It's a quick cheap laugh.
Have fun. Don't push yourself too hard. We only get one go at this life - gotta make it worthwhile.
xx
I'm sorry to hear you're feeling so down, we all have bad days and it's important to look to tomorrow. You're a great person and deserve happiness, it will come :) Hope you feel better soon
ResponderEliminarTake Care
*huggles*
xxxx
Sounds like my weekend! So I know how you feel. All we can do is pick ourselves up and try again. It's tough, but each fall makes us stronger. <3
ResponderEliminarPlease never give in :( Your such an amazing person!! :) This is in the past now, you need to look to the future, and work on that :) You CAN change the future for whatever purpose you want it :) xx
ResponderEliminarHey I'm a new reader, but I just wanted to say, you can do it. Some days you just have to say, "fuck it." Other days, it's okay. It's hard but be encouraged, I love your blog.
ResponderEliminar