lunes, 13 de diciembre de 2010
Don´t even bother in reading this
I´m a freakin monster...I haven´t posted because all I´ve been doing since Friday night is binging like the bitch that I am and taking too many sleeping pills.
62 kg today(I was 59,5 on Friday), weighting myself should have stopped me from eating like the cookie monster but it didn´t.....
I hope I had something positive to say...but the complete and honest truth is that all I want is to die...I want it so bad it hurts, I don´t know what to do to stop feeling this way...ideas?
As I can´t kill myself because of people, all I want is to stay home sleeping forever or until I drop 20 kg...
This past 6 years have been all the same, lose weight, gain weight, cut and wanting to die....will it ever stop? I´ve been to A LOT of therapysts but they can´t change how I feel and neither can I...so what´s left? A life of surviving, of wanting to die and having to live.
Ok, STOP! Tomorrow is a new day and it might be better, I´ll bust my butt at the gym(I didn´t go today), go to therapy, wait for my "diet pills" and go buy another diet pills. This week I´ll do one of my favourite diet, the Apple diet, I don´t follow like it´s meant to, I just eat apples, 3 or 4 a day if I´m too hungry.
Sorry I haven´t commented on your beautiful blogs but I´ve been too down to do anything.
Tomorrow Í´ll catch up on the comments.
Hope you´re doing great like you deserve!
This is exactly how I want to look in that position...so I better shut my mouth...!